Trans Rights Are Human Rights

Trans men are men.
Trans women are women.
Trans nonbinary people are nonbinary.
Trans rights are human rights.

I am cisgender, but I stand in solidarity with the transgender and intersex people of the world. The political atmosphere in countries like the United States and the United Kingdom makes it tough for these people to feel like they have the support, the rights, and the medical care they need to thrive. I’m speaking up to spread awareness of how you can be a better ally to the transgender people in your life.

Easy Tips for Allies §

• Know that there is no one way to be a ‘perfect’ ally. Accept that you will sometimes make mistakes, but if you do your best, stay respectful, and are ready to listen, you’ll stay on the right path.
• You don’t have to understand someone’s identity to respect it. All people deserve respect.
• You can’t “just know” if someone is trans by looking at them or listening to the way they talk. There is no one way for transgender people to look. It’s possible that there are trans people alongside you in line at the Subway, or watching movies with you at the theater. You might never know and that’s fine.
• Speak out in support of transgender people and transgender rights! Being an outspoken ally makes the social spaces you inhabit safer for trans people, even if you don’t know of any trans people there. Politely correct others if they use the wrong name or pronoun for a transgender person.
• There is no “one right way” to be transgender. Some trans people change their legal names, and some don’t. Some change aspects of their appearance like clothing and hair, and some don’t. Some people chose to medically transition, and some don’t. It doesn’t matter what things a trans person has or hasn’t done to transition; a trans man is still a man, and a trans woman is still a woman.
• Use the language a transgender person uses for themselves.
• If you don’t know what pronouns to use, just ask. If you still feel unsure, share your own pronouns first. “Hi, I’m Komma, and I use he/him/his as my pronouns. How about you?” Don’t make a big deal out of a pronoun mistake; just apologize and move on.
• Be careful and considerate about what other questions you ask. You should probably avoid these kinds of questions unless you are very close to the trans person:
  • What is your birth name? (And you should never call it their “real” name!)
  • Do you have photographs from before you transitioned?
  • What hormones are you taking?
  • What surgeries have you had?
  • …or any question about sexual relationships.
• Someone’s transgender identity is their private information. Just because someone has told you about their identity does not necessarily mean they have told everyone in their life. Maybe they’re worried about being mistreated by their family, or fired from their job, or simply not ready for the emotional labor of coming out to everyone. Err on the side of privacy.
• Avoid compliments or adviced based on stereotypes about how men or women should look/act, or stereotypes about transgender people. These can be hurtful, even if they are said with good intentions. Avoid comments like the following:
  • “You look like a real woman!”
  • “I never would have known that you’re trans.”
  • “You would look less trans if you wore more makeup.”
  • “No real man would wear that jacket. You should change if you don’t want people to know you’re transgender.”
  • “I’d date him, even though he’s transgender.”
• Think about how you use gendered language. Many transgender people are fine being called ‘ladies’ and ‘gentlemen’, but you can’t know without first asking. There are a variety of ways you can change your habits and practice nongendered language. Some examples:
  • “Hey folks” instead of “Hey guys”
  • “Esteemed guests” or “everyone” instead of “ladies and gentlemen”
  • “To whom it may concern” instead of “Dear sir or madam”
  • “Salesperson” instead of “salesman”
  • “Legislator” instead of “congressman”
  • “Performer” instead of “actor/actress”
  • “Toughen up” instead of “man up”
• On forms and documents, consider whether you need to include gender at all. How will that information be used? If you do need to ask for it, use a blank space for people to fill in as they feel comfortable, rather than boxes marked “male” and “female”.
• Push to allow people to use bathrooms and other facilities in a way that matches their gender identity rather than what’s on their government-issued ID. In particular, a single-occupant restroom should have a sign that just says “restroom”.
• Seek out education yourself in addition to the conversations you have with the trans people in your life.

Further Reading §

National Center for Transgender Equality